Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Our First Year Together....

At last, I can join my weekly meme's Hooray.... for this weeks theme at Couple's Corner it is our First Year as Husband and wives...

Well for starter it wasnt easy... LOL, Imagine being with a stranger 24/7 heheh just kidding.

Kidding aside our first year together was full of ups and downs... it is the stage where you really get to know each other very well. All your inhibitions with each other would be gone just by getting married.

For us particulary our, First year together as husband and wife was made more difficult by the fact that a few days before our wedding in the Philippines, I was diagnosed with PCOD ( polycystic ovarian disease) what a great wedding gift =(. There I was wanting to start our new life with the man of my dreams hoping that someday we would have our own little family..Then with just a couple of test and ultrasound.... the doctor said... I am sorry to tell you this but you would be having a great difficulty getting pregnant and the chances of having a child is remote even with the help of medicine....

We started our first year together on a rough start....I keep hiding my true feelings that I feel incomplete and I just pretended that I am alright. Little did I know that he knew deep inside I am a wreck... He knew from the start that I wanted to be a MOM.... probably because I have promised myself to be a great mother to my child... that I wont be like my own mother.... that I would be better...

Being infertile, lessens your self confidence... at times you would feel as if your worthless.. that you are not complete... you always look at your self as subsidiary and not worth it.... Having faced with this issue I must say It has affected our marriage life greatly.

At one point my husband told me ( while I am in my self pity mode)- I wished I never married you.... Maybe then you wont feel more pressured to give me a child... maybe then you would see that I am here and what's more important is the life we make together ... you and I, I never said that I would marry you just to have kids... I married you because I want to spend my life with you and not what you can give me... He goes on begging... Please baby, just for once... think of how great we are together before we knew of your condition... how much we have fun.. how much love we gave each other... how blissbul life was.. He even said, if it is really hard for you to go on with this marriage and if it would really make your life miserable just thinking of what we dont have rather than what we have right now, I think it is best if we separate and give each other freedom ( Gusto pa ko idivorce on our first year together heheheh).

Well that was my wake up call, that night I think about what he has said and I just prayed to God that if I can't be a mom just help me to be a better wife. After almost a year of self pity, I woke up and see how much God blessed me with a wonderful guy who was willing to accept me with all my imperfections and who is still willing to spend his whole life with me ( with or without a kid).
Our first year may not be perfect but I believe it was the start of a deeper relationship with my husband. One that is past the honeymoon stage, realizing that this man would be my forever, the one who would always be at my side no matter what and who loves me more than his life.

We may have started at the wrong side but I think we would catch up and finish on top =)


  1. oh! this story put tears on my eyes! love it! thanks for sharing:) I'm looking forward for the next round of our journey:) Godbless dear one!

    Mine is up here:)

  2. Aba, talagang i di divorce ka raw kapag itinuloy mo ang kabaliwan mo? hehehe.

    Well, I can understand your feelings, siguro I would feel the same if I was you. Madami din kasing situation na kapag di magkaanak eh naghihiwalay ang mag asawa di ba? But know what, you are so blessed with an understanding husband, the one that love you for who and what you are not for what you can give him. Tama naman siya, pinakasalan ka niya to spend the rest of his life with you, at di lang para magkaanak. He can have kid with any woman, but he can only marry one particular woman and that is you..

    Great post Jenny.

  3. Parang I can relate with you kasi up to now wala pa rin kaming baby ni habibi.. but you know what.. kahit na ganyan ang nangyari yung husband mo ang forever baby mo na hindi ka iiwan no matter what.. u are very lucky and i thinks thats more than enough kasi uv found a man na inaccept at aalagaan ka hanggang sa huli.. ohh.. like ur story promise.. muntik na ako maiyak.. i can feel ur pains kasi ..

    mine is up here >>

  4. Nakakaatouchnaman tong entry mo sis. He really love you so much!

  5. i love your story- you are so blessed to have such a husband. There is nothing impossible with God, remember Sara (Abraham's wife)? Just continue to trust God and He will make wonders in your life.

    Happy CC, mine is up too.

    Hope you don't mind me campaigning:
    Pls vote for my daughter ALTHEA INGRID S. BARON (#5 candidate) for the November Pinoy Smile of the Month. Click here to cast your vote. Thanks

  6. A very nice story, I somehow could relate to you about many things. Happy weekdays!!

    My Life’s Journey in Focus
    At my tabletop
    My Life’s Photo
    My Pride and Joy

  7. i love the last line. like you, hubby and i did start clumsily but now things are getting better with each day.

    you are blesed to have such an understanding hubby who loves you more than anything in the world :)

    my entry is here

  8. awww.. those words from your husband are music to everyone's ears.. you are so blessed that God gave the perfect hubby for you.. who will love you for who you are and not for what you can give.. I love this story.. sooo sooo... touching.. and now, you have Bea.. God is really good!!!