Wednesday, May 5, 2010

CC: Meet my moms :)

Rodliz’s Nest

This weeks topic on couples corner is all about our Mother's, I was worried about this topic 'coz i cannot think of anything to say about my mother's. Unfortunately, I am not close to my mother or my mother-in-law, its always been an issue about respect but I still give them credit for bringing me and my hubby into this world. For all their hardwork putting us up tp school, feeding us giving us what we need, I will never fail to give them credit for all of that.
Anyway let me introduce my Mother-in-law first; her name is PURIFICATION S. PATAWARAN we call her nanay puring.

This is the only photo i have of her, sorry i just scanned it this was taken on the day of our wedding. I dont know how old she is but i think she is somewhere in her late 60's, before I met my mother in law i had been always calling her every now and then, and my first impression was she is a real nice lady. The first time I saw her in person well that's a different story, she didnt know i can somehow understand their language ( kapampangan) and she keeps on telling her sisters how come I was allowed to rode on the plane with just jeans, t-shirt and sneakers on ( duh, i would be travelling for 13 hrs, she expects me to put on make up jewleries and nice clothes, sorry it is just not me... comfort is what i am after).

The whole time that I was in their place she keeps on rubbing to my face that all that I have is from her beloved son. She fails to recognize the fact that I am working and I am helping his son out with every possible way I can.. I just let it all pass since I wont be staying there for a long time. But the whole family made it clear that to them I was the witch who stole their beloved son away from them. My mother in law keeps on competing with me for my hubby's attention, and you really can feel and see that she is indeed competing with you. I just let it pass since in my mind and in my heart I know that in the end no one else would matter but me and my husband.

I have a lot more about my MIL but that is for another topic :P.

To my Nanay.. though you dont want anything to do with me and up until this day you still dont recognize the fact that I am your son's wife I still give kudos to you, for giving birth to my soulmate, my destiny and my knight... I will be forever grateful. For bringing him up in such simple way, for teaching him the value of money and harwork at a young age... I thank you, for it is because of his past that he has become a great man, a very loving husband a very proud father. For the long and painful journey he had to go through.... still thank you.. for it is those time that defined him as a man and for it is those time he pomised himself that his future family would not have to go through even an ounce of pain, sorrow and hardship that he went through.

To you nanay I would not discredit you for anything that you have doen for Jun.... Me and bea will be forever grateful to you that you have given us the greatest blessing of our life. Thank you and happy mother's day.

On the other hand, this is my mother, Celia H. Alilam, she is currently in baguio now where she lives with my father. She is turnign 56 yrs. old this year but still acts liek a teenager :P.

This is a pic of my tatay, nanay and bea when we went home in the philippines last november, 2009.

You know when you have a moment in your life when you feel that you cannot do it anymore or you feel so down that you dont have any one to turn to but your mother, you can cry as hard as you wanted to and your mom would just sit there and console you for as long as you feel better? Well, my mother is not like that, if you cry the first thing she will ask is "What did you do?", then she wont stop there and she would insinuate that it was your mistake or you did something. Even before she knew what really happened.

My sister has always been a mommy's girl everytime she needs soemthing she would jsut tell to my mom and my mom would buy or even do things for her. I on the other hand has always been self dependent, I always do things my way.. when my mom went to work overseas and left my sister and me to the care of my father, my sister had the hard time adjusting so instead I took over the role of my mother in our family ( and i was the youngest), I can say I matured a lot becuase of that, so when it was time for me to work here in Saipan and be with my mother... our gap got wider, she can't believe that I am able to think on my own that she insist to control me with her own rules. After living 8 yrs. without her it is hard for me to abide her every whim, most of the times we would clash and we would end up fighting. I keep asking her to respect me as a person and recognize the fact that I will be able to know what it right or wrong but she would answer me with, " hay, nako jen wag mo nga ako sinasagot at baka samapalin kita" or tumahimik ka nga baka masaktan kita... those words i keep hearing while growing up you cant complain or tell your side of the story 'coz before she even listen she has already have made up her mind that its your fault or you have done something wrong.

But anyway she still is my mom.. though at times I was wishing that somebody would come and claim me as their own.... Iknow deep in my heart she is my mother and I am deeply indebted to her for my being.

To madear, I know we have lots of differences actually iI think we are both opposites of each other hehehhe. Though we may fight a lot, you know and I have proven time and again that I would just be here whenever you need me. Though you question my life decisions and think I am bound to fail.. I know deep in my heart you are still proud of me on learningn how to stand on my own feet... your just too stubborn to admit it :P

Though you have disowned me a couple of times for standing thru my decisions, I know you didnt mean it and I know you just want me to follow your way, the safe way... I have learned to be stubborn like you becuase I want to prove to you that somehow Ill figure out how I want to live my life and I just want you to respect my decision.

A lot of times I question your love for me and i know you get hurt everytime I telll you that you dont care about me...I am sorry for that... for the heart aches I cause you I am sorry... for every teardrop you shed because of me... Sorry.

I thank you madear for everything, you inspire me to be a better mom to bea because I fear bea and I will be in the same position that we are in right now. I am who I am right now becuase of you.... I value my family because I have seen you stick it out with our family thru thick and thin, I respect my husband so much because I have seen the effect of discrediting tatay of everything, I love my daughter too much because I have seen how much love can go a long way.

For my whole being madear, thank you so much and though I may not say it often... I love you :)

Happy mother's day every one!!!


  1. Muntik an ako maiyak dito sa post mo..I can feel your pain, parang ako ang nasasakatan sa relasyon nyo ng mother mo. although di ako super close sa mother ko at kapag nag usap na kami eh negative agad ang reaction nya, but she listens and when I hurt she hurts too. I didn't realize na ganyan ang feeling mo towards your mother. I didn't mean to put yo on the spot. But you know what? you expressed what you feel towards your mother, siguro kahit paano nakagaan ng loob di ba?,and because of her you turned out to be what you are. You are now a loving mother to your child, coz you don't want her to live that life that you lived once.

    Well, kahit di ka type ng MIL mo, at least loves ka naman ni Jun di ba? who cares kung di ka gusto ng mga in laws mo, di naman sila ang makakasama mo sa buhay.. You live your life according to how you live it, and the past made you strong and tough to face the future.

    Thanks for joining this week, I will see you next week for " We're pregnant" see you!

  2. Hi mommy liz don't worry you didnt put me under the spotlight. just was worried for my entry to sound bitter. I have so much to be thankful for my mothers though at times it brings tears on my eyes.. but your right becuase of them I have chosen to be a better person and a better mom. I have a new beginning now and that is with my own family... and I must say I am happy :)

  3. i am admiring you for being strong after all what you've been through. yes, it is still right to give credits to your mom and MIL because they made you a better person and a great mom.

    just don't mind your in-laws, inggit lang sila kase nasa yo si Jun at iyon ang mahalaga, that you're living happily together with your angel Bea.

    advance happy mother's day, Jen! mwaaah!

  4. Hi Sis, its a little sad knowing you and your MIL has not really built a good relationship. Sama din naman kasi ng pinakita nya. We and my MIL in the beginning were not okay, but later on when she has accepted that her son has already been married to me, she has changed and accepted me to their family.

    Anyway, about your mother naman sis, cguro nga dahil sa distance , you have learned to stand on your own and mothers sometimes would feel betrayed if hindi tayo umaayon sa tingin nila na tama.. But I know you are loved by your mama.

    Happy Mother's Day to you and your Mama.

  5. aww... nalungkot ako while reading this, mommy jen... alam mo ba, ewan ko ha, pero every time mag babasa ako ng entry mo, I felt like there's always something the same in our situation... di ko matandaan exactly what, pero talaga... I felt like we've gone through the same phase in some parts of our lives.

    I'm ok with my MIL, but never with my biological mom... hahaha!!! just like yours, we always clash... and you know what, you interpreted everything right. You may be hurting with the situation, pero you were able to see the light behind it... na kaya kayo super ok ni hubby mo now is because of the past relationships with your families... life nga naman has full of lessons noh? It happens because there's a reason... now we're more open to that thought than when we were young...

  6. sorry to hear about your mother and MIL.God blessed you with a loving hubby though and that is all that matters.